Nunca Adios, Simpre Hasta Luego

This is my final, intensely reflective, blog. I have been through so much over the past 3 ½ weeks and I am a completely different person than when I left on this journey, which shocked me when I realized it.

When I first found out about this trip, I was really looking forward to exploring a different culture and understanding more about what ELLs feel when first entering my future classrooms. I also just really wanted to have the experience of going to Costa Rica and I wasn’t sure when I would be able to have that opportunity again. I obviously reached this goal of going to Costa Rica and as far as the other goal, I feel that I have a better insight but I don’t believe I will be able to fully understand. I believe this because I was only out of my comfort zone for three weeks, my ELLs will be pulled from their comfort zones with potentially no knowledge of if or when they will be returning. From the experience I did get, I have the knowledge now of how that move can be so uncomfortable and how awkward it feels to be surrounded by people who are all speaking another language that you may or may not have had exposure to. I think that this will help me even more than if I had truly had the same experience as an ELL.

I believe that I can take my experiences and use them to help all my future students, not just the ELLs, special needs children and children who are struggling with whatever else it may be. I have experienced feeling awkward, scared, and alone in a room full of people bursting with energy and wanting to communicate with me all at the same time. This happens to students all the time, moving to a new school, town, state, or even country can invoke all of those overwhelming feelings and I can now say that I completely, 100%, understand them. I can show my students through nonverbal communications what I expect of them and how they can trust me, the same way that my wonderful host families did in both Heredia and Monteverde. I was lucky in the fact that both of my families were patient and kind to me and understanding of the fact that I spoke very, very broken Spanish. I now have the knowledge that sometimes the best communication is through actions and not words.

I walked into the airport in Costa Rica expecting to have a blast and tons of fun and no hard work. I did have an amazing time, and a lot of fun, but I worked harder than I ever had before. My brain was constantly going, nonstop. I would conjugate in Spanish class and translate when I was in my homestays. I would be doing homework in Spanish, communicating to my families in Spanish, and in the background I was taking everything that went in and turning it into English, coming up with a response, and trying my hardest to turn it back into Spanish. A few times, I was at a loss for words because I simply did not have the knowledge to respond. Not only did I learn from myself from my host families, but the experiences and interactions with those who came with myself from the States. I have learned that I am a very patient person, and I have also learned that just because you don’t like a person, it doesn’t mean that you have to be blunt and rude. I have learned that I have the ability to keep my head and remain positive while others around you continue to be negative and try to pull you into their negativity. I will be the first to admit it; I was very, very negative the first week there. The trip was more work than I expected and I was not a fan. But once I reached Monteverde, my eyes were opened to how rude I was being to the experience that was placed in front of me. I did a complete 180 and everything changed. Yes, Spanish was still so difficult, and yes, I was still missing about 50% of what my host family was trying to say to me. But, as I continued on, things became clearer, more things started clicking. I will never forget the moment that I walked into my Spanish teacher’s room that I had my second week at the beginning of the third week, and I just started speaking like Spanish was my native language. I remember turning out of the room and being shocked that I had just done that.

Thinking back on this, if I were to do the trip again, I would have a smaller group because I feel like it just created a stew pot for the negativity at times. I would also just not be so negative. Sometimes life is hard, and sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. That comes with growing up. I would not change anything else because all of the uncomfortable and awkward feelings I had in the beginning made the end result so much stronger. I would not have changed as much as I did if I had been placed in a hotel for the three weeks, or even if I had been placed with families that spoke English. This trip has pulled me to want to work with ELLs even more than I did before. I have previously taken ESL for Non-ESL majors through UNCW and I had a small experience with working with ELLs, but after seeing what all happens at home when you are uncomfortable, I want to work with them even more. I want to help as many students as physically possible as I can. I want to help every student who struggles, I know this isn’t possible, but it has got me thinking about working more one on one with students and not as a classroom teacher.

All in all, this was a life changing, eye opening experience and I would not change anything that I felt on the trip, minus the bits of frustration with those in my group. For future students going on this trip, I say do it, but only do it if you are ready to change who you are and fully immerse yourself. If you go and try to get in touch with home the whole time, and spend your nights trying to get wifi you are going to miss out on what happens at home and to me that was the best part of the whole trip. I came home to a “Hola, Maggie! Como te fue?” Nothing felt better than knowing that no matter what happened during the day, there was someone who I came home to that genuinely cared about how my day was and that was the closest thing to being at home that I felt. It was a wonderful end to each day, and I don’t believe that there is anything else that could end this post. Family means everything down there and now I realize how lucky I am to have to amazing family that I do.

Time Flies

They say that time flies when you're having fun. But I am here to say that time flies when you are scared, frustrated, uncomfortable, nervous, and uncertain as well. These three weeks have been a roller coaster.

I am laying here in the same hotel that I started this learning experience in and I feel like I am a totally different person with a brand new perspective on life. I have been pushed and pulled to the ends of my comfort zone and I survived. Before this trip, I would have never zip lined.

But I did it.

Before this trip, I was unsure about trying new foods. I always picked the same thing and always returned to the same restaurants.

But I tried everything that was placed in front of me.

One of the biggest learning experiences for me was when we went to Life Monteverde. 

Life Monteverde is a farm that focuses on being sustainable. We worked on the farm by helping them to clear space to plant corn and beans. It really showed me the importance of a hard days work and after seeing all the ways that they are working to be sustainable, like reusing methane gas from the pigs in the kitchen, it really makes me rethink the things I do and the things I use and just toss.

Leaving Monteverde

My heart is in a sad place this morning as I travel back to San Jose and leave my amazing host family in Santa Elena. I have experienced so much while living with the Badilla Corrales family. Before I would sit in the same room as my family but I would have my nose in some form of technology. Now I really appreciate the 'how was your day?' at the end of each day and the warmth that comes from having dinner all together around the table. Granted, we did still have the tv on in the background every night. This family treated me as part of their family. The little girls were always so full of questions. This sometimes made my Spanish homework difficult because one of the little girls always wanted me to read everything in my book. Problem by problem. As I packed up my things last night, the little girls came in my room and it broke my heart to be leaving them. I have a new found appreciation for communication that I did not have before this trip and I hope that I can remain in contact with this new branch of my bizarre family tree of family, friends and loved ones.

Wow. Last Monday.

I can hardly believe that today marks the last Monday that I will be in Costa Rica. It feels like the time has just flown by. I am ready to see everyone but I also don't want to leave my new family here. I have come to love this place, with it's bugs and huge hills and random downpours of rain. I am sitting now outside of the meeting point and I am super early because my mama tica needed to go pick up Mariam and Mariel from school. I find myself sitting here reflecting the time that I've spent being negative and wondering why I wasted my energy. I am going to have students who will go through the same frustrations that I felt and they aren't going to be able to just go back home to their comfort zone after three weeks.

I am sitting here, just listening to all of the amazing animals that live here the same way that pigeons and sea gulls live at home.

Adventures in Costa Rica

Well last night was definitely the most adventurous I hope to be here in Costa Rica.

That is our bus. Stuck in the mountain. And the other truck cannot pull it out.

I don't really know how it happened. I was sleeping on the bus, trying not to feel car sick when I was awoken by a sudden stop. I looked to my right and all I saw through the window was trees. Lots of trees.

Next thing I know we are getting all of our stuff together and climbing out the roof of the bus via the emergency exit.

We were all totally safe and nothing bad happened. Our driver and our guide had everything under control.

After we climbed out, we had to stand on the side of the mountain. It was such an experience to deal with and afterwards, I rode in a separate car with two people from our group. While driving back, we saw a sloth!!

All in all, it was a pretty good day. I got some sun at the hotel in the morning and saw a sloth in the afternoon :)

End of week two

Wow I find it hard to believe that I have now been in Costa Rica for two full weeks now. I have been exposed to so much that I would have never dreamed about experiencing.

Unfortunately this week I have been feeling under the weather but I am feeling like I am on the mend. I have been using more and more Spanish with my tica family and I am feeling more confident when I speak and hopefully it's less broken Spanish and more complete sentences. All this week I have felt the homesick part of the trip. I think part of that has been actually being sick. But it has been so nice to come home to such a warm and inviting family. (Also the Disney movies don't hurt either, even if they are in Spanish.) I am learning so much from this experience about enduring and pushing through the hard parts. Every morning this week after eating breakfast with my mama tica, and sometimes my papa Tico, I get to hike, literally hike, up a huge hill to meet up with people and then we get to continue to hike together to get to our meeting point. I never really thought about the troubles of not having a car. On the first day, my papa Tico walked me up and was telling me about how he walks up that hill all the time. I didn't even want to think about doing it for another two weeks. It showed me what I chose to ignore, the fact that others are not always as privileged as I am, and all things considered, I am very privileged. This week has really pushed me to my limits more than last week. I keep pushing forward and reminding myself that I'm stressing over the little things and that it doesn't hurt to stop and breathe an enjoy the ride.

Until next time

xoxo

Mi Tico Family en Monteverde

I am now living in Monteverde for two weeks. I am really enjoying my family, they are so sweet and the little girls are adorable. I am not enjoying the massive hills everywhere.

This will definitely be a learning experience though. I don't usually think about how people travel without easy access to cars and such like we have in the states. It is really making me reflect and think about what I have and how sometimes I take it for granted.

My first morning with my family was so cute. The little girls had me color with them as we waited for breakfast. I am really going to enjoy working on communicating with children who don't speak English as their primary language. I really think that this host family experience will help me build confidence in talking with the children where my first host family allowed me to become more familiar with speaking with adults who don't understand English.

Hope to post again soon.

Xoxo